Nail trends for the bin

The nail world is a creative place where new trends are born every day, and that's one of the things I love most about it. But just because something is trending, doesn’t mean it should be. Sometimes, a trend pops up that makes you wonder what we were thinking in the first place. So, in the spirit of fun (and a little bit of sass), here are a few nail trends I'd put in the proverbial bin. In no particular order...

1. Aura nails

I get it — we're all about that ethereal, glowing look, but the aura nails with the pink bloom? They look like the nails have been overfiled and are now begging for a litre of cuticle oil and a break. I don’t know about you, but that bloom feels more like a bad salon experience than a mystical aura. To each their own, but for me, this one’s best executed with colours other than pink. Or brown. Or anything that could look like a bruise, abrasion, or some kind of poo.

2. Tortoiseshell nails

My favourite sunglasses are my lovely, polished tortoiseshell Liberty frames. Tortoiseshell belongs on spectacles, cats, and classic dashboards. Unfortunately, upon closer inspection (and with a little imagination), the colour and pattern of tortoiseshell is eerily reminiscent of a bruised toenail my uncle had when I was a child. One of the most "HOW DO I ACHIEVE THIS"-ed looks by nail techs around the globe every Autumn, I'm here today to tell you that the easiest way to make a nail look like that is to slam it in a car door. Next!

3. Lipstick nails

What are we really going for here? Lipstick nails are shaped like the slanted tip of a lipstick bullet. For generations, nail techs have worked on symmetrical shaping and weighting and to deliberately lop them unevenly like this feels like we've just given up and given the excuse a name.

4. Straight smile lines

The 2000s called, and they want their straight smile lines back. When I was 17, I wouldn't have been caught dead with a deep smile line (because, like, WEIRD), but in hindsight those straight lines just didn't flatter anyone. The straight-ness came from the way we used to stick white tips on to overlay with clear or sheer acrylic - but with the way products have come on in the last 25 years, there's no need for the flatties any more. They belong in the bin, right alongside low-rise jeans, frosted tips, and those chunky platform flip-flops that made you trip at least once an hour.

5. Short stiletto nails

Aside from being an oxymoron, short stiletto nails can't actually be a thing. Don’t let anyone tell you otherwise. Stilettos, by their very nature, are long, sharp, and pointy. When you shorten the nails but try to keep the shape, they a) look like you stole them from a furry cosplayer, and b) compromise the structure of the whole nail, often filing right down into parts of the side wall which shouldn't be touched. They’re supposed to scream elegance, not ‘I might bite you.’ Long stilettos? Yes. Short stiletto fangs? It's a no from me.

Of course, these trends might be your jam, and that's the beauty of the nail industry - to each their own! Some find my go-to almond baby boomers dull AF, but they're my ride or die. What I really love about the nail world is that there’s something for everyone. But for me? These ones can slither back under the rocks from whence they came.

What's your least favourite nail trend and why? Join the conversation! x Fiona